31st May

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Like a Night Club in the morning, you’re the bitter end
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you’re clean round the bend

I watched a program today about the great poet John Cooper Clarke. It was on BBC 4 last night but I didn’t get a chance to watch it so I caught it on iplayer. I first saw him back in 1979 at Newcastle University when he was first starting to really make a name for himself. It was so difficult to get into the uni in those days if you weren’t a student and we no doubt stood outside for a while asking people to sign us in! It also went on very late and by the time we would have had to leave to catch the last train home he still hadn’t come on stage. I remember I found a payphone and rang my mum to ask if my dad could come and get us after the gig but she said he was too tired so said she’d leave a £5 note just inside the door for us to pay for a taxi!! While i was on the phone to her JCC walked past me heading towards the stage. “Got to go mum he’s just coming on!”

Like a death a birthday party,you ruin all the fun
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,you’re no use to anyone

I was actually quite surprised to find out I’d seen him 4 times in all instead of the two I could remember. The next time I saw him was just after I went to uni and was probably amongst the slew of tickets I bought on my first day in Manchester. It was at the Apollo with Pauline Murray supporting. The other time I do remember seeing him was at Rafters, an underground club on Oxford Road (I remember because of the line in one of his poems “I was walking down the Oxford Road, dressed in what they call the mode!” (the poem also mentions the Ritz where I would see New Order a few months later!). the final time I saw him was listed as being at Dingwalls – I’ve no idea where that even was – could have been Newcastle or Manchester as it was in May 1983 just as I finished Uni.

What kind of creature bore you, was is some kind of bat
They can’t find a good word for you, but I can…TWAT

Talking of which that stupid lodger has reared her head again – this time she managed to con a PCSO into coming round and delivering a letter to us. I’m not sure what the PCSO did was actually legal but Sarah showed her the carpet and told her what a pain in the arse she was and got some level of agreement. I don’t suppose the PCSO will be able to talk any sense into the arrogant woman but we can always hope.

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